It's now the day before my 30th birthday and I'm not feeling quite as centered and at peace with the world as I did in my previous post below. No, today I am feeling many different things.
Turning 30 is starting to freak me out slightly. What does this mean for me? Am I supposed to change somehow? I feel as if more is expected of me, now that I am an official "adult". Does this mean no more screw ups, no more buying sexy hot sandals instead of paying my electricity bill? Can I still be "me" and ALSO be 30? The two don't seem to go hand in hand.
Am I still young? Yes, I think so. But now, I think it's a different type of "young". Young compared to what's ahead for the rest of my life? Absolutely. Young as in fully capable of pulling the hot 18 year old at my gym? Not that I really want to, or would, but could I?
I'm not sure what turning 30 means. Maybe it means nothing. Maybe it's just another day.
What really sucks is that tomorrow, I will wake up on March 1, say Happy B-day to myself (or Feliz Cumpleanos, depending on my mood) and discover that I am snowed in with 17 feet of snow. All so I can sit at home and ponder my age and inner conflicts. Great.
I should be getting a psychic reading on Saturday in Salem, MA, so hopefully this will give me a bit of clarity. Or at least a year in review. And then we will have lunch, hopefully at Fuddruckers, where I'll have a big honking burger and fries, and a cookie for dessert. I'll need it to ground myself after the psychic. Yeah.
Everyone be safe during the storm.
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5 comments:
Beck, I know it's hard turning 30. When I turned 30, I discovered a whole new facet of my persona. I became just overall more comfortable with myself and who I am as a person. of course this didn't happen on the actual day but a few months later after it sunk in.
Give it time and you'll be more comfortable with the whole thing.
It will be OK.
Thanks Gin. I guess it's just another day, except I ate flan for breakfast (!). Hahaha! I think I really just need some new sexy shoes to help me get back on track. Maybe a trip to Frugal Fannies is what I need! Let me know if you'd like to schedule a trip, maybe with Ma!
I can always count on my friends and family to ease me out of a slump! I'm encouraged by your words and I feel a lot better.
I think I have always expected far more from myself than anyone else could. Thirty might be the year to ease up and stop seeing everything as only black or white. The grey is scary to me, because of the lack of certainty. I feel better when everything (especially the intangible, like feelings) is categorized and compartmentalized. It's always been tough for me to "go with the flow". I'd better ease up before the universe makes me!
Hello Rebecca!
Once you are a week or two into being 30, you will feel just like you did the week before your birthday!!
Hang in there!!
I hope all went well with your reading, I am hoping you were told many wonderful and positive things to come in your 30th year!!
I will be looking forward to hearing about the kind of sexy shoes you were able to get over the weekend!!
Whitney :)
Thanks Whitney! I feel better, I guess it's just a matter of adjusting to a new number. It doesn't change who I am. I guess it just took me about a week and a few caring friends to help me realize that.
See you tonight! :)
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