I Have an Internet Boyfriend

I've been chatting with Pookie (not his real screen name) for a while. About 3 years or so. Maybe longer. I nicknamed him Pookie after watching a marathon of the VH1 show Strange Love. Brigitte Nielsen and Flava Flav... Brigitte called Flav "Foofie Foofie". I decided I needed a Foofie Foofie, and my Pookie fits the bill. We've entertained each other, made each other laugh, shared hot intimate moments, supported one another through breakups, scolded one another when we got out of line... typical good friend stuff.

Pookie is a very attractive healthy male from Chicago. When I look at Pookie on his webcam, he makes me feel like I want to jump through the monitor and sit in his lap. Pookie is also attracted to me, and sometimes I wear special accessories on webcam that no one else has seen. He has seen me without makeup, just back from a sweaty workout, first thing in the morning and right before I leave for work. He is sweet enough to say that I look great no matter how I look.

Pooks is a workaholic, I think. I seem to attract them. I sort of like the situation sometimes, because I am the reprieve from the busy day, I am the mini-vacation they won't take. They appreciate me for what I offer, and tend not to smother me. They just don't have the time.

We've developed a bit of a psychic connection, even though we've never met in person. I tend to develop these types of connections with people I care for, usually close friends and lovers. Sometimes he hears my thoughts, sometimes I can close my eyes and see where he is. He's a skeptical Virgo, so we've run some tests to check the connection. He's flabbergasted, but to me it's pretty normal.

Pookie and I keep each other updated on our dating and sex lives. He was dating an Australian pilot who also happened to be a total psycho, and he was truly happy for me when I thought I had found "the One". When that "One" decided he was too fucked in the head to continue an adult relationship, Pookie was there to console me. I was a hormonal emotional mess due to the birth control pill, and he just talked me through everything and let me cry and wonder WHY until I got off the pill and onto a more rational state of mind, where I was calling the One "the Fish Fucker". Someday I will get to the point of indifference, but that time has not yet come.

Shortly after my loss, Pooks had his own crisis. We talked, we went over the details, the phone calls, the possibilities. Pooks had to end that one, and she didn't go gracefully. You know when a fellow member of your gender is acting like a fool and you feel embarrassed for them? Simply being of the same gender, you want to reach out and say, "Whoa, hold on sister. You're embarrassing yourself. Do a reality check, FAST." because they obviously have no same sex friends who will tell them. I ended up telling her via email, when stalking and just plain weird behavior escalated. We had it out on a few back and forths, and long story short, I won.

After my Wal Mart dude (see below post) raved about his love for camping and water slides, I declared that I would tell everyone I am unavailable. I have an internet boyfriend. Who has strange taste in music. And sometimes wears red dress shirts to business meetings while out of the country. And I accept all of that. Because who else understands the mossy feel in your mouth after eating a bag of baby spinach? Because who else eats a bag of baby spinach?

I have a trip to Chicago planned in the fall. Pookie is definitely on the agenda. I am open to hating him, making a good friend, having dinner and calling it a night, really liking him and not wanting to leave or being annoyed but still liking him as a brother. Anything could happen, and usually does when it involves the internet and a man.