A Man Worthy of Marriage

Finally, I am with a man who is worthy of marriage.

I've been with nice guys, exciting guys, fun guys, addict guys, asshole guys, guys who liked the idea of me but not the real me, 13 year old boy in a 30 year old body guys, you name it. But in the end, they were all boys. Boys who were unable or unwilling to grow up and become men.

I felt committed to previous guys, but there was always a catch. He's great except that he drinks too much, is addicted to porn, can't verbally express himself, doesn't spend enough time with me, puts me low on his list of priorities, wants me to be someone I'm not... I could go on and on.

My man is the first man I've been with. Before Ahmed, I'd never been with a man who I could unequivocally see as my husband. He is responsible, emotionally expressive, secure with who he is and knows what he offers.

He is also nice, exciting and very fun. He is emotionally mature and supportive, and mentally healthy with no hang ups. He cares for me in a way I've never been cared for before. He breaks down the walls I didn't even know I had, and does it lovingly and patiently.

Ten days after meeting him, I thought of him as my husband. Not a guy who I clicked with and wanted to see where it would go, not a boyfriend, not a guy who fulfilled some of my needs but not all. I thought of him as my husband.

We've been delayed about a year in our journey, but I think it's impeccable timing. We've been able to catch our breath before moving on to the next big step. Actually, it's more like a leap. I'm giving up my apartment in Hooksett for a flat in Cairo. We'll date like we would here until it's time to make it official. I'm fine with it all, because I'm finally with a man who is worth it.

Still Waiting

The house sold. I'm more than ready to go, but now we are waiting on probate court, which will take at least another 30 days. I worked my ass off getting my father's estate in order, but by the time it is finished, it will be nearly a year since his passing.

Probate is a bitch. Even with a specific will and organized documents, being an executor is very hard work and extremely time consuming. When this is all over, my life will begin again. I won't have the full time job of being sole executrix (female version of executor) and I can resume some normalcy - if normalcy means living in the Arab Republic of Egypt. Which for me, it does.

I really can't wait. I can't wait to pack up our sofa and go. My clothes are all ready. Everything else will go in storage or will be given away. It's almost time!