Football Season Entertainment Determined

Alex Smith. The San Francisco 49ers have chosen Mr. Smith as their #1 draft pick. Dude is only 21 years old. And they say he needs to bulk up a bit, which I agree with. And if someone can get a handle on his eyebrow waxing issue, well girls, I may have determined my official entertainment for this football season.

It's about time I freshened up the football knowledge anyway. Without Rob The Football God around, I'm not able to spout stats and who's going where and so on. I have always leaned more towards the coaches' erratic (and often amusing) behavior, funny looking players and their names for my entertainment. Rhyming players' names to make silly nicknames during intense play isn't normally appreciated by real fans - just a tidbit of knowledge I picked up along the way.

Last year I participated in a football pool at work. Miami was playing that week, so I asked bald Capricorn dude in accounting if the injury report was out yet, because I needed to know if Marino would be playing. I got laughed out of finance and teased for the rest of the season.

I was surprised to see Joe Theismann commentating instead of playing for the Redskins. Yes folks, I prefer to live in the dark ages of football when things were good. Or at least that's what I tell people who wonder why I am so hopelessly out of touch with current football.

So this year, if I am subjected to many a game once again, I have at least gotten started on my own entertainment. Throw in some dreads and a little hissy fit throwing by my favorite coach, and it should be a good season.

How to Temper Enthusiasm

I didn't realize I was such an enthusiastic being until recently, when I've really just had to take things down a notch and chill. It's hard. I'd rather do cartwheels in the parking lot of my complex any day than sit demurely with my legs crossed, nodding with very deliberate un-enthusiasm. But this is what I must do. I must quell the giddiness, stomp out the hopefulness and just wait things the fuck out. It's really for my own good, but I feel my heart becoming shrouded with a black sheer scarf when I take this approach. It's not living NOW and it's not conducive to my soul happiness. Yet is for my own good.

It's still important for me to express myself whenever it is "safe" to do so. I hate feeling stifled and careful. So when TSM asked if I would like to take my very first motorcycle ride yesterday, I almost jumped out of my shoes with enthusiasm!

I lowered my ponytail and slid a helmet on for the first time. As soon as it was on, I got nervous. I wondered if I looked like one of the bad ass chicks on Playstation Road Rash (probably not). I mounted the bike like the mechanical bull and gripped TSM's leather jacket pockets. I felt exposed, open, vulnerable and scared. But I trust TSM, and knew I was safe as long as I didn't do anything irrational as a nervous passenger.

We started out slow, and when we drove over a very small bump, I screamed and gripped his pockets. I think he was kind of laughing at me, but he asked if I was okay, and we drove up Pembroke Road. We got up to 45 mph (believe me, I kept a close eye) and after my muscles relaxed, I really started to enjoy the ride. TSM counseled me a bit on my "turn" behavior, and prepared me for upcoming turns. He has been riding since the age of 10 and is a confident, stable driver. I am glad he was my "first", because I never felt in danger or out of control.

At the end of the ride, I thought I really should have done this years ago! And what had I been afraid of? It was nothing but fun, and I would love to ride out somewhere for the day and just relax on the back of a bike.

When we got back, we discussed how my new thoughts on motorcycles opened up a whole new segment of the population I could date! It's nice to share enthusiasm with friends and I impulsively gave him a big hug to thank him for the experience.

I felt great the rest of the night (even with helmet hair) and I look forward to long rides in the future with someone special who not only likes, but encourages my enthusiasm!

Reliability in the Face of Uncertainty - My Sneakers

I wake up and I know my running shoes will be there. They wait for me and they're never far. Lately they are the only true certainty in my life.

They wait for me to eat some cottage cheese and maybe take a shower. They wait until I decide what t-shirt to wear and sometimes they even wait for me to answer an email or two. If I take too long, they get impatient and a little antsy, and they call out to my feet, making them tingle and making me want to grab some Thorlos and get the hell out and go to the gym, or to the track.

But they are always there. They support me in whatever I need to do on any given day. On rare occasions, sometimes they just come with me to the store and that is all. But they whisper to me that if I would like to run, I may, and they will be there.

We have plans, these shoes and I. Not to schlep comfortably through a shopping mall, not to explore that long ass Vegas strip and certainly not to meander through interesting wine tastings with whomever the current object of desire may be. No, no, no.

We are about getting shit done. About stretching the hamstrings, bicycling, walking and jogging the track, squatting a decent amount of weight, getting to the level of fitness I desire and want almost more than anything. My sneaks are my partner in crime, my support, my wake up call, my daily affirmation that I am real, I am here and I must make use of my time. My only true certainty.

The Boob Issue

Ok, so the adhesive bra didn't work and it almost ended up on the male bartender's head (as a patron contribution to the collection, of course) at the Salty Dog Saloon.

Thank God I am always prepared with a back up plan, so only my left inner thigh (?) emerged bruised from the bull, and the boobies stayed protected all night.

I guess as one becomes leaner and more and more fit, the body fat decreases and the boobs, primarily made up of (ewww..) body fat, also decrease. The trade off is a smaller, firmer butt. Which is cool. But boobies are also cool. What to do?

A mature man - not sure if he's an experienced mechanical bullrider, though - had this to say on boobs:

"I like woman who understands what it is to be a woman - a woman of power...

I like a woman who knows how to hold herself both in public and in private... And when little girls see these types of women, they step back and they step down...

I like a woman who has intensity - the passion to live and to love without regret - but yet not be hurtful to herself or others - a person of class...

I like a woman who know what she stands for - a woman who has values...

I like the older woman, You know, the 30ish - 40ish woman who knows how to smile at life.

Over the years, I have met many good looking people - the so called bombshell babes with boobs - and... some without(?) However, once they open their mouths and start speaking their thoughts - and have nothing to say... they start looking ugly... many men are the same way...

I also like a woman who knows how to be a very bad girl when the time calls for it - a woman who knows how to sweat and sweating has nothing to do with cup size..."

Amen, brother.

I have to admit, it is nice to jog without all the heavy jiggle. My body is still changing, so who knows what will happen. My ass is coming back, my tummy is leaner and my boobs are very well moisturized! Haha! To be free in one's body is a blessing. To stretch, to roll around, to bend, to SQUAT... those are all wonderful things. Some outdoors Tai Chi would hit the spot right about now... boobs nicely encased and out of the way of all my fluid and graceful movements - sort of like when I was bullriding... HA!!!!!!!!

Five Tips for a Woman

Five tips for a woman (courtesy of Ms. Stephanie, the ravishing redhead):

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

The Brave and Ballsy Four Continued

2005 Impala
Jerk Chicken
Free rum cake
Bras above the bar
Motorcycles
High heels and jeans
"My Paddle, Your Ass"
Liquid courage
One hell of a ride

4 Brave and Ballsy Girls - Pics coming soon

The Brave and Ballsy Four

More to come.

Yeah Spring is Here

Maybe I'm a dirty whore, but warm weather makes me think of certain things. I know some of my girls can relate and will appreciate an oldie but abosolute goodie.

***Children should leave the room***
To hear this song, you can now link directly to it HERE