I know a lot of you have been wondering why I've been hanging out with law boy despite my utter boredom and irritation of him. He annoyed me, made some bad moves, and is basically a tool.
Law boy was good to have around when nothing else was going on. A diversion from my pathetic job, someone to eat brie and drink wine with. Plus he looked good. That's really about it. Oh, and he cooked for me. Kind of nice.
When he asked for us to be exclusive, I said no. I never developed feelings for him and I wanted to keep all options open. He knew where I stood, so don't feel bad for him.
I'll admit I was hanging out until something better came along. Little could I forsee that that something would be someone I am very fond of and is from my recent past.
It started with a hang up call. I had a message on my answering machine that sounded like some muffled background noise, then a disconnect. I checked my caller ID... and it was my boyfriend from the winter, Billy. I'm sure most of you are acquainted with Billy even though, aside from my family, no one's really met him.
I didn't know what to think. I wanted to call him immediately, but it was almost midnight. I wondered why he hadn't left a message. I wondered what he had to say. I went to bed a little excited and somewhat hopeful.
I called him the next day. He seemed very surprised to hear from me. I told him I knew he had called the day before. He said he hadn't. Something was wrong with his cell phone battery and when he tossed it, it may have speed dialed my number. Oh. How awkward.
He said he wanted to catch up though, so we talked for the next two and a half hours. We talked about the breakup and all the important stuff, and we decided to give it another go.
So far, things have been really different. He is expressive and letting me know how he's feeling. He asked to participate in one of my events so he could understand that aspect of me better. It's what I always hoped he could be. And yet there is no awkwardness, nothing uncomfortable about being together. We have just as much fun as before, but now with a little more purpose. I'm excited to have Billy back in my life.
After a few dates (of which I kept law boy informed), we had a talk and thought that maybe we should really give it a go. I would need to let law boy go (big loss!). I wasn't sure how that would go, but law boy ended up making it easy for me.
When law boy asked me my plans for the weekend, I would tell him where I was going and what I'd be doing. He'd ask if it was a date, and I answered honestly.
Last Saturday, I planned to attend a bodybuilding show. I usually go alone because:
A. It's hard to find anyone who has any interest
B. It can be a long day even if you are really into it
C. The tickets aren't cheap
Billy asked to accompany me. I almost didn't let him, because I know how mind numbing it can be for people who aren't interested. But we went, had fun, went out for barbecue afterwards and had a nice talk.
That morning, law boy called. He asked what I had planned for the day. I said, "I told you, I'm going to the bodybuilding show". He asked what I was doing before that. I told him I was going for a run and had other errands to do. Law boy and Lisa's neighbors were having a going away party that night (they're moving to the Virgin Islands), and normally I would have gone. Law boy asked me to stop by after my date. I think law boy thought that I was seeing someone new, another match.com thing, and that he was there first. I told him I would be out all night.
Shortly after Billy left my apartment (and he was a total gentleman, by the way), my phone rang. Two o'clock in the morning. It was law boy. He asked me how my date went. I told him it was fun. Then he asked me what I wore. Huh? What did I wear? He asked if I wore a sexy dress. I said no. I asked him how the party was going and if he had had a few drinks. I told him we would talk the next day.
When I hung up, I felt very uncomfortable about the call. He had no place whatsoever to question me, or to call at 2 A.M. to check if I'm home or doing whatever.
Prior to Billy and me talking, law boy and I had planned to go to the Scottish Highland Games that Sunday. My plan now was to drive to Concord and tell law boy that we were no more. But after that strange phone call, I was a little concerned. Would he act strange in person? Would he keep me there for hours, questioning me? I called my mom for advice.
Mom told me I didn't owe law boy a personal appearance (do you see where I get my sassiness?). Especially not after a phone call questioning my whereabouts. Who knows what would happen?
I agreed, thanked Mom for her advice, and called law boy. He was still sleeping at 11:00 A.M. I asked him about the phone call. He didn't remember anything he said (or so he says). He said he thought he'd get my machine and didn't expect me to answer. Uhh... so why call at 2 A.M.?
I told him that the person I had been dating was my ex-boyfriend from the winter, and we decided to try again. Law boy began questioning me about why we broke up in the first place, and I told him it was none of his business. He continued to ask, and I told him I didn't need my relationship psychoanalyzed, I knew who I wanted to be with. He asked if there was anything he could do to change my mind. That seemed odd. I said no.
Law boy ended with, "Well, it was fun while it lasted". I spared him my thought, which was, "No it wasn't, but thanks!".
My friend Lisa, who lives in law boy's building, was at the neighbor's going away party. She said he acted creepy that night. Maybe she'll leave a comment here and update us all!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Masters and MBA from MIT, current law student = dumb as a rock
Lisa had a great party Friday night. I brought her a plug in grill (like a George Foreman grill but not) and law boy gave her a knife set. Lisa's co-workers were very nice and sweet, one of the girls kept trying to give me hugs, so eventually I gave in and started going to her for hugs!
Law boy acted a little odd. Lisa pulled out all kinds of divination games, and one was a yes/no/maybe type of thing. He got a "yes" on some question he asked to himself, turned to me, hugged me around my waist and said, "Oh honeyyyy, guess what?" I felt ill. If law boy thinks we're going anywhere near down that path, he has another thing coming.
We left around 3 am. I stopped in law boy's apartment to grab my things, and he announced that he had purchased a tooth brush for me. WHAT? I asked if he was implying I had bad breath. He said, "No, I just thought you'd like to keep one here". I asked what color it was, ready to turn it down on the basis of color alone. I have no reason to keep anything at his apartment. I'm just not at that level with him.
He asked what I had planned for the following day, and he seemed to assume that I would be staying over (what, just because it's 3:30 am? Unreasonable!). I told him I planned to go to Glendi and see one of my co-workers play in his band that night. He asked if it was a date. I said yes.
He then asked what the status of our relationship was. Don't you think if someone tells you they're going on a date with someone else the next day, that kind of says it all? I told him I didn't feel I know him well enough to take that next step. And I really don't. There are some things I like about him. There are other things that really just turn me off.
Law boy told me he was jealous. I said nothing. He asked if this meant he has competition. How on earth was I supposed to answer that? I just repeated that I didn't want to be exclusive at this time.
I drove home thinking about how great Lisa is and how I liked her co-workers a lot. I thought about the next day with my date and the kind of fun I knew I would have. It vaguely crossed my mind that law boy isn't too bright. I thought that it was a good thing law boy didn't ask me who I was going on a date with, because that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Law boy acted a little odd. Lisa pulled out all kinds of divination games, and one was a yes/no/maybe type of thing. He got a "yes" on some question he asked to himself, turned to me, hugged me around my waist and said, "Oh honeyyyy, guess what?" I felt ill. If law boy thinks we're going anywhere near down that path, he has another thing coming.
We left around 3 am. I stopped in law boy's apartment to grab my things, and he announced that he had purchased a tooth brush for me. WHAT? I asked if he was implying I had bad breath. He said, "No, I just thought you'd like to keep one here". I asked what color it was, ready to turn it down on the basis of color alone. I have no reason to keep anything at his apartment. I'm just not at that level with him.
He asked what I had planned for the following day, and he seemed to assume that I would be staying over (what, just because it's 3:30 am? Unreasonable!). I told him I planned to go to Glendi and see one of my co-workers play in his band that night. He asked if it was a date. I said yes.
He then asked what the status of our relationship was. Don't you think if someone tells you they're going on a date with someone else the next day, that kind of says it all? I told him I didn't feel I know him well enough to take that next step. And I really don't. There are some things I like about him. There are other things that really just turn me off.
Law boy told me he was jealous. I said nothing. He asked if this meant he has competition. How on earth was I supposed to answer that? I just repeated that I didn't want to be exclusive at this time.
I drove home thinking about how great Lisa is and how I liked her co-workers a lot. I thought about the next day with my date and the kind of fun I knew I would have. It vaguely crossed my mind that law boy isn't too bright. I thought that it was a good thing law boy didn't ask me who I was going on a date with, because that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Choices
I thought I had my weekend planned out.
I am going to Lisa's housewarming party tonight after work (11:30pm!) with law boy, her neighbor and my current dating partner. I'm not sure what he'll want to do after that... although I can guess.
Spiros has called a few times and asked how the boys were treating me. I told him about law boy. Spiros asked, "Ah, and does he lick the ass?" I said, "No. He's a bit squeamish." Spiros replied, "Unacceptable!"
Haha! Spiros cracks me up.
I thought I would ask Spiros to accompany me to Glendi, which is this weekend. I'm not very familiar with Greek food, so I thought a Greek native would be a good date. He would teach me, and undoubtedly hand feed me. Plus, he's fun. Unlike law boy.
Before I could ask Spiros to go, another man from the recent past reappeared, which sort of changed my plans. More on this later.
I am going to Lisa's housewarming party tonight after work (11:30pm!) with law boy, her neighbor and my current dating partner. I'm not sure what he'll want to do after that... although I can guess.
Spiros has called a few times and asked how the boys were treating me. I told him about law boy. Spiros asked, "Ah, and does he lick the ass?" I said, "No. He's a bit squeamish." Spiros replied, "Unacceptable!"
Haha! Spiros cracks me up.
I thought I would ask Spiros to accompany me to Glendi, which is this weekend. I'm not very familiar with Greek food, so I thought a Greek native would be a good date. He would teach me, and undoubtedly hand feed me. Plus, he's fun. Unlike law boy.
Before I could ask Spiros to go, another man from the recent past reappeared, which sort of changed my plans. More on this later.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Snore...
Zzzzzz.... Zzzzzz....
Huh? Oh sorry, I must have dozed off. Um, can you leave now?
- Summary of my last date with law boy
Huh? Oh sorry, I must have dozed off. Um, can you leave now?
- Summary of my last date with law boy
Monday, September 05, 2005
Do I LOOK like a college whore?
The law student hinted he would like to date exclusively. I don't think so.
He's not exactly knocking my socks off. Sometimes when he talks, I find myself tuning him out. That can't be good. He invited me to his parent’s house on the Cape this weekend (they live in NY). It sounded cool, I thought we could go for the day, walk on the beach, cook dinner, relax by the fireplace. Then he mentioned his parents will BE there. UH… fourth date to meet the parents? I don’t think so. I found out later that his brothers were bringing their girlfriends with them, so maybe he just wanted to show up with someone.
It seems like meeting the family means nothing these days. Why go through the stress of meeting someone’s parents, siblings, extended family and family friends, just to do it and have it not mean something bigger? Back in the day, when you brought someone home, it was because you thought a lot of them, and maybe were thinking of taking things to the next level. Not “Hey, come over and be charming and personable and make a good impression just for the heck of it”!
But that’s not what turned me off. Things got a little creepy Saturday night. We went to Unwined, had delicious brie and their new cheese fondue. I had two glasses of wine, I think he had three. Two really is my max, I start to feel pretty tipsy and it's not too far from very tipsy-pretty drunk. I drink until I feel tipsy, then I'm done. I don't think stumbling and slurring are cute, and I tend to get the spins and sometimes get sick, so it's really useless for me to drink past tipsy.
He asked me at what age I had my first beer. I was honest and told him 23. I've never liked beer, and it was the only beverage at a house party I went to with an ex about seven years ago. Law boy was surprised, and asked me what I like to drink besides wine. For special occasions, I like to drink a Grasshopper, or some variation, maybe without all the cream (then it becomes a Girl Scout Cookie). I mentioned that if I am out dancing, I'll usually have a long island iced tea or a margarita.
After a great meal and some great wine, we headed over to my second favorite date spot, the comedy club. We had some time before the show started, so he asked if I would like a drink. I said no. He asked if I was sure. I said, “Yes, I'm sure, two really is my max”.
He came back with a beer and a drink. I asked him what it was. He said it was a long island iced tea. I told him I hoped he was prepared to drink it, because I wasn’t going to.
He shrugged and said he thought I might take sips on it. I told him, “I give freely of my affection when I want to. You don’t have to get me drunk”.
He said, “I know”. Long pause as I looked anywhere but at him. You know that feeling when you’re on a date and you just want to find an escape route? You go through your options, like calling a cab, wishing you brought running shoes so you could run home, having a friend call you at the venue and make up an emergency… walking out to the smoking patio where wedding guests mingled, search for an attractive male or maybe an old co-worker to get caught up in conversation with and sort of forget to go back inside…
I didn’t do any of those things. I really like the comedy at this place, so I decided to stay and enjoy it, and forget who was sitting next to me.
Maybe HE was too tipsy to realize I wasn’t happy, because he asked me how I thought the relationship was going. I said, “fairly well”. He was surprised. He asked how it could be better. I told him, “I like to have fun. That’s why we’re here. I like to do fun things. I need to have more fun. And THAT,” I pointed at the drink, “was a mistake”.
He said he knew. I asked him how he thought things were going. He said he really liked me a lot and wanted to learn more about me and see where it could go. He also said that he was very attracted to me, and I admitted that we had a physical attraction. I thought to myself that for me, that may be all it is.
Law boy mentioned on our last date that the typical amount of time to have sex with a new person is within 3 dates. I asked if the girls he dated slept with him within 3 dates, he said yes. I told him he must date some loose women.
He seems to be operating on a high school level with women. He tells me when it's "normal" to have sex, then tries to get me drunk? Anyone who has seriously dated me knows that when I am ready for sex, I'm more than ready, and the last thing I need is coaching or a drink to loosen me up.
I am considering making law boy a project. I will definitely date people as they come up, and I may continue to see law boy - just never have sex with him. I wonder how long it would take him to give up? I'll probably get annoyed with him way before he decides he's had enough, but it might be a good experiment. I wonder if he'll become more of a jerk as he realizes he's never going to get any. Maybe he'll start to beg or buy me jewelry. It might be interesting. I'm kind of bored, nothing much else going on in my love life, so it could be a good project until I meet someone decent.
He's not exactly knocking my socks off. Sometimes when he talks, I find myself tuning him out. That can't be good. He invited me to his parent’s house on the Cape this weekend (they live in NY). It sounded cool, I thought we could go for the day, walk on the beach, cook dinner, relax by the fireplace. Then he mentioned his parents will BE there. UH… fourth date to meet the parents? I don’t think so. I found out later that his brothers were bringing their girlfriends with them, so maybe he just wanted to show up with someone.
It seems like meeting the family means nothing these days. Why go through the stress of meeting someone’s parents, siblings, extended family and family friends, just to do it and have it not mean something bigger? Back in the day, when you brought someone home, it was because you thought a lot of them, and maybe were thinking of taking things to the next level. Not “Hey, come over and be charming and personable and make a good impression just for the heck of it”!
But that’s not what turned me off. Things got a little creepy Saturday night. We went to Unwined, had delicious brie and their new cheese fondue. I had two glasses of wine, I think he had three. Two really is my max, I start to feel pretty tipsy and it's not too far from very tipsy-pretty drunk. I drink until I feel tipsy, then I'm done. I don't think stumbling and slurring are cute, and I tend to get the spins and sometimes get sick, so it's really useless for me to drink past tipsy.
He asked me at what age I had my first beer. I was honest and told him 23. I've never liked beer, and it was the only beverage at a house party I went to with an ex about seven years ago. Law boy was surprised, and asked me what I like to drink besides wine. For special occasions, I like to drink a Grasshopper, or some variation, maybe without all the cream (then it becomes a Girl Scout Cookie). I mentioned that if I am out dancing, I'll usually have a long island iced tea or a margarita.After a great meal and some great wine, we headed over to my second favorite date spot, the comedy club. We had some time before the show started, so he asked if I would like a drink. I said no. He asked if I was sure. I said, “Yes, I'm sure, two really is my max”.
He came back with a beer and a drink. I asked him what it was. He said it was a long island iced tea. I told him I hoped he was prepared to drink it, because I wasn’t going to.
He shrugged and said he thought I might take sips on it. I told him, “I give freely of my affection when I want to. You don’t have to get me drunk”.
He said, “I know”. Long pause as I looked anywhere but at him. You know that feeling when you’re on a date and you just want to find an escape route? You go through your options, like calling a cab, wishing you brought running shoes so you could run home, having a friend call you at the venue and make up an emergency… walking out to the smoking patio where wedding guests mingled, search for an attractive male or maybe an old co-worker to get caught up in conversation with and sort of forget to go back inside…
I didn’t do any of those things. I really like the comedy at this place, so I decided to stay and enjoy it, and forget who was sitting next to me.
Maybe HE was too tipsy to realize I wasn’t happy, because he asked me how I thought the relationship was going. I said, “fairly well”. He was surprised. He asked how it could be better. I told him, “I like to have fun. That’s why we’re here. I like to do fun things. I need to have more fun. And THAT,” I pointed at the drink, “was a mistake”.
He said he knew. I asked him how he thought things were going. He said he really liked me a lot and wanted to learn more about me and see where it could go. He also said that he was very attracted to me, and I admitted that we had a physical attraction. I thought to myself that for me, that may be all it is.
Law boy mentioned on our last date that the typical amount of time to have sex with a new person is within 3 dates. I asked if the girls he dated slept with him within 3 dates, he said yes. I told him he must date some loose women.
He seems to be operating on a high school level with women. He tells me when it's "normal" to have sex, then tries to get me drunk? Anyone who has seriously dated me knows that when I am ready for sex, I'm more than ready, and the last thing I need is coaching or a drink to loosen me up.
I am considering making law boy a project. I will definitely date people as they come up, and I may continue to see law boy - just never have sex with him. I wonder how long it would take him to give up? I'll probably get annoyed with him way before he decides he's had enough, but it might be a good experiment. I wonder if he'll become more of a jerk as he realizes he's never going to get any. Maybe he'll start to beg or buy me jewelry. It might be interesting. I'm kind of bored, nothing much else going on in my love life, so it could be a good project until I meet someone decent.
Friday, September 02, 2005
So I'm dating this law student. I'd been blowing his match.com emails off for about a year. He emailed me even before I met Dr. Micropenis, again after Dr. Micro scurried out of my bed complaining of a stomachache, and while I was dating the fisherman. The timing was never quite right, and I wasn't convinced I had to meet him, for lust or otherwise.
He sent me a "wink" through match.com, and if anything, I admire tenacity and perserverance, so I replied and we got started.
He just turned 33 today (and shares the same birthday as the boy I dated 6 years ago who is now desperate to see me/talk to me), is attractive and is fairly local. He has a masters degree from MIT in materials science as well, but got bored with his job at Intel, so he decided to pursue patent law.
I got my first lesson in driving a stick on a BMW today. That was kind of cool. And I'm getting more comfortable on a motorcycle, although I still won't let him get on the highway.
He's nice. We watch movies and drink wine, we take his dog to the park, we eat Thai and sushi and look at old pictures. Am I having fun? Eh.
What IS cool is that when I go to his apartment, I can see my bud Lisa! No, they don't live together, but listen to this:
My friend Lisa and I met for lunch a few weeks ago. She had lots of news! I could tell in her voice it was a new man and I was thrilled for her. I won't divulge all the details, but let's just say that Lisa is a responsible adult. That's all I'm going to say!
She also mentioned she had her own apartment now! Even more thrilling! Did I want to meet the boy (I mean, young man) and see the new place? Absolutely!
I met the young man, saw the new place, and Lisa told me about the other tenants in her building. It sounded like a nutty building.
Two days later, I met the law student for the first time for lunch (the Thai iced tea at Siam Orchid is a MUST). I decided within about 30 minutes that we would, at some point, be having more than a few intimate moments in the future. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes a bald head just wins me over. I wasn't sure how MUCH more than that, but I was pretty certain we could have a decent time together.
He asked me about my apartment complex, if I liked it and so on. He described his place, and a little about the tenants in his building. Well, what do you know, it sounded exactly like the tenants in Lisa's building. I asked him what street he lived on and after confirming a few other details, we decided to head to his/her place and stop in for a visit.
I called Lisa and told her I just had lunch with her neighbor and was standing in his apartment. Lisa said, "What? Go outside!" We all talked for a while and Lisa didn't seem a bit surprised that I met her new neighbor on match.com and was back in her building two days later. I guess stranger things have happened in my dating life.
So, I like him. But I get the sense he is holding back, maybe just not wanting to mess anything up, but I really need to see that someone is ALIVE and has opinions and gets annoyed sometimes.
Another thing. I miss having fun. I miss laughing at goofy stuff or silly jokes. But I guess the "fun ones" are just about having fun, and maybe the more serious ones are commitment material. I don't even know anymore.
I just want to take all the good qualities from the men I've dated/loved and make a man just for me. I thought I came close to finding that, but I was wrong.
I'm going to continue going through the motions on this one. I won't make the mistake of dating exclusively right away, so I am still open to see others. Maybe there isn't one man for me. I've loved, I've lusted, I left or they left, and I continue to date and meet new interesting men. But is there one really for me?
He sent me a "wink" through match.com, and if anything, I admire tenacity and perserverance, so I replied and we got started.
He just turned 33 today (and shares the same birthday as the boy I dated 6 years ago who is now desperate to see me/talk to me), is attractive and is fairly local. He has a masters degree from MIT in materials science as well, but got bored with his job at Intel, so he decided to pursue patent law.
I got my first lesson in driving a stick on a BMW today. That was kind of cool. And I'm getting more comfortable on a motorcycle, although I still won't let him get on the highway.
He's nice. We watch movies and drink wine, we take his dog to the park, we eat Thai and sushi and look at old pictures. Am I having fun? Eh.
What IS cool is that when I go to his apartment, I can see my bud Lisa! No, they don't live together, but listen to this:
My friend Lisa and I met for lunch a few weeks ago. She had lots of news! I could tell in her voice it was a new man and I was thrilled for her. I won't divulge all the details, but let's just say that Lisa is a responsible adult. That's all I'm going to say!
She also mentioned she had her own apartment now! Even more thrilling! Did I want to meet the boy (I mean, young man) and see the new place? Absolutely!
I met the young man, saw the new place, and Lisa told me about the other tenants in her building. It sounded like a nutty building.
Two days later, I met the law student for the first time for lunch (the Thai iced tea at Siam Orchid is a MUST). I decided within about 30 minutes that we would, at some point, be having more than a few intimate moments in the future. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes a bald head just wins me over. I wasn't sure how MUCH more than that, but I was pretty certain we could have a decent time together.
He asked me about my apartment complex, if I liked it and so on. He described his place, and a little about the tenants in his building. Well, what do you know, it sounded exactly like the tenants in Lisa's building. I asked him what street he lived on and after confirming a few other details, we decided to head to his/her place and stop in for a visit.
I called Lisa and told her I just had lunch with her neighbor and was standing in his apartment. Lisa said, "What? Go outside!" We all talked for a while and Lisa didn't seem a bit surprised that I met her new neighbor on match.com and was back in her building two days later. I guess stranger things have happened in my dating life.
So, I like him. But I get the sense he is holding back, maybe just not wanting to mess anything up, but I really need to see that someone is ALIVE and has opinions and gets annoyed sometimes.
Another thing. I miss having fun. I miss laughing at goofy stuff or silly jokes. But I guess the "fun ones" are just about having fun, and maybe the more serious ones are commitment material. I don't even know anymore.
I just want to take all the good qualities from the men I've dated/loved and make a man just for me. I thought I came close to finding that, but I was wrong.
I'm going to continue going through the motions on this one. I won't make the mistake of dating exclusively right away, so I am still open to see others. Maybe there isn't one man for me. I've loved, I've lusted, I left or they left, and I continue to date and meet new interesting men. But is there one really for me?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
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