Thank you

I was a little surprised at the influx of emails I received after posting my last entry. I wanted to email everyone the link to that one, because I didn't want to have to deal with "How's Billy?" in a couple of weeks. All your emails have been extremely supportive and I can feel the caring and empathy behind them. You have no idea how much that means to me. Caring, compassion and empathy were vital human emotions that were lacking in the relationship. I think that's why it can be so baffling for me (and others) to understand.

When I told my friends from Neighborcare on Friday what happened, the look of genuine concern and compassion for me really hit home. This is how people who care about you act. This is how people look at someone who's basically a good person who's been hurt badly for no good reason.

How could Billy look at me crying in his truck, deeply hurt and upset, and only think to defend "what he said". He refused to try to put himself in my shoes and see things from my side, even if he couldn't understand. I shouldn't have to try to convince someone that it's normal and HUMAN to identify with someone's pain, no matter if they're a friend, girlfriend, or simply anyone in need.

My sister and brother-in-law have been an invaluable part of my recovery from this relationship. They spent the entire day with me on Saturday and through their hilarious wit and humor, really got through to me that I'm okay - there's nothing more I should have or could have done. I felt more myself when I left their place.

I went on my first date last night. Normally I like to take time (usually lots of time) to reflect on what happened and try to learn from it before moving on. I don't feel that this is necessary this time around. I'm not confused. Billy put up a charade and the "show" of having a real relationship as long as he could. Life pressures entered the picture and he couldn't deal whatsoever. I need someone around through thick and thin, not when it's simply convenient. There's not much I need to try to figure out from that.

So I went to dinner with my date. It was more or less a time to get dressed up, look pretty and receive some much needed compliments.

I'm looking forward to spending some time with my family and friends. It is so comforting to be in the presence of people who really know me and care about me as a person. You guys get it. Thank you for being there.